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Ginestar, Rebecca (Novello)

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Exit Letter of Rebecca Ginestar aka Rebecca Novello

There are several reasons for my leaving the Truth. As before I mentioned they were personal, but I feel the need to express my thoughts to you. If you care to share them with others, feel free to do so.

In the Bible, it says "Seek and ye shall find." I've been seeking all my life with no answers. As you know I was raised in this way. Yet I never agreed with everything I was taught. I never believed that the only saved ones were those associated with the Truth, nor do I believe that now, nor will I ever. I do not believe one needs a religion, a system, "a way" or an affiliation to enter the everlasting kingdom of our Lord. The Bible - it says "I am the way." It does not say I will point you to a way. Salvation comes to those who are saved through God's grace through faith--not works or workers. We need a personal relationship with God. Not with a system that encourages us to know nothing of the origin of this way.

This way was founded by a Scottish man named William Irvine who broke away from the Faith Mission Church in 1897. He went to Dublin, Ireland and founded the meetings between 1903 and 1917. There was a fellow preacher by the name of Edward Cooney who joined him. They brought the "gospel" to America through other workers who eventually officially registered "this way" with the United States Government as the: "Christian Conventions." Many are unaware of this fact. If you disbelieve what I write, please look these things up for yourself. Discovering this fact was a shock to me. I was raised to believe the truth originated from the time of Jesus over 2,000 years ago. I knew no differently. I feel the Truth has been a way of guilt and fear for me.

I feel I have been deceived all my life by my parents and the workers. I am not sure if all the friends know or not, but I refuse to live a lie or be in a system that continues to let the lie continue to thrive. I hear in testimonies that people are "thankful for the way" or for "the day the workers brought the truth to their life." No one mentions how grateful they are that Jesus came into their lives. One must believe in Him--not in a way or system. It is God's approval I desire and not the approval of the workers or the friends. God is the one I will stand before on the Judgment Day--not those in the Truth will be judging me. To me, the truth is a farce and continues to be so because of the workers and friends who deny the facts and truth about its origin. The truth was founded by a human being--just like you and I. Not by God.

I am not bitter to those who still may not comprehend or acknowledge the documented facts as to the history of "the Truth." I have a great respect for those I worshiped with in Sunday morning meetings, Wednesday night Bible studies and Gospel meetings. I know you are all searching to be right with God. That in itself is respectable.

I am assured in my decision to exit the Truth. Ones in the Truth probably may not understand and for those, I encourage you to call, write or visit me. I would be happy to inform and explain my position.

Also, we have all been told that we have no name. We do have a name. It's called "The Truth." More than this alone is what has caused my exit. It goes far beyond that. There are too numerous reasons and false doctrine that I have had tried to be brainwashed into me. Thank God I always kept my mind.

I thank God who never gave up on me and gave me a clear vision and never faltered in his patience with me. I'm glad I'm not letting people do my thinking for me, and that I am reading the Bible now with a true under­standing. I'm grateful I never quit praying to Him to show me what He had planned for my life. I'm so grateful He has finally answered my prayer. My prayers go out for each of you too. To really know Him. Enclosed is a poem I wrote a few months back. Peace be with you all.

Much Love,

Debi
January 13, 1996

NOTE:  Rebecca passed away July 7, 2013 from cancer, age 44 years.



FLASHBACKS

Flashbacks fill my mind
I am frightened of the memories.
I resent each and every one
With hatred and with fear.
I want them to vanish
Far from my memory
That now haunts me.

The flashbacks I now see
Are a healing process
To get whole and complete.
I wondered why now,
But now I see
It's to go on living
Without shame, guilt or fear.

I still do not comprehend
Why me...and others
Are subject to such Atrocity.
Sheer speculation,
Such actions were brought
Against him also.
For flashbacks are most likely
Part of both our worlds.


The ones who did love us
Were silent co-dependents,
Without blame, of course.
How could they ever understand
The sorrow and the shame
Mixed with every days normalcies,
Yet beneath an eruption of heat.

I can see clearly now
Each step that I've taken,
And why each one was necessary.
In all actuality, a milestone
To get from there to here,

Which was then and now
An escape from pain into healthiness.

Some of my mistakes
Are not my own.
He created them in me,
And I am resentful for them,
And perhaps always will be.
I hope I can forgive myself and him,
And we all can go on to live free and clear.

I thank the few who did believe,
And resent the ones who did not.
I hope they now can see
It was truly a desperate cry for help;
An agonizing time for me
For others involved too, I'm sure.

The truth should have come out.
The strife it would have saved
If all had banned together in unity.
The enormous amount of strength
to tell such ugly tales.

Courage is a private battle
We must all conquer in order to win.
And perhaps someday
We'll all not have to live
In our own private hell.

Such peace exists for those
When the stories are all told.
For truth can only set you free,
And tears and sadness can fade.
Richness in one's self
Makes life with your loved ones
So good and so complete.

I hope to find one
In whom I can believe and trust,
With certainty that life
Will flourish and grow.
For in flashbacks
I can find my true identity,
And feel a sense of wholeness.
No more torment or woe.

Flashbacks are painful to the soul.
They hurt with each twist of events.
But in the end, you'll see
They are all part of the healing process
In order to go on
To live full and richly
Both physically and emotionally.
No more secrets of a vengeful hide.

I've let them run their course,
And pray that they are over now.
I've come to understand
Their reasonings and their rhymes.
They haunt me still,
But soon they'll be buried memories
That can no longer hurt me.

Praise be to the one
who has held me when I cried;
When the pain was like a dagger,
The flashbacks like a sword;
And the feelings like spears,
The hatred like a shield.
All memories of past years.

He understood with kindness
And did not turn away.
He could have run from me
but chose to stay instead.
He has helped immensely
To face each troubled, blocked so long
painful, frightening fear of memory,
Which will no longer destroy me
Or the happiness I've striven for
But could not find.

By Rebecca Ginestar
June 18, 1995